Vengeance Is Mine by Douglas MacKinnon

Author:Douglas MacKinnon
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781451640977
Publisher: Threshold Editions
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

20

As things turned out, everybody was happy with my solution except Kathy. Now that I knew how quick and talented she was, I asked her to ride with Barkagan in his car. Just in case.

Clearly, she was good. Phil would not have sent her otherwise, no matter his sense of humor. She put in her time at the Farm and would do what she had to do when she had to do it. That was the mantra at the Farm: Don’t think. Just react and do.

To accomplish that type of thinking and response, one of the first things they destroy at the Farm is your conscience. It took me a long time to get mine back, and it still wasn’t right. At times I could still be cold as ice. To friend and enemy alike.

You stay with the Agency for too long, and a little piece of your mind starts to atrophy. It’s the part that has compassion. The part that cares. I hoped that it never affected Kathy the way it has so many others. The way it still affects me.

I honestly believe that no other government organization does as much good for the United States as the Central Intelligence Agency. I realize that I am always going to be in the minority when I voice that opinion, but it is something I believe to be fact.

Tragically, while the agency affords you the opportunity to do some good, it bills you for that privilege by causing you to lose large blocks of your sanity and peace of mind. Not so much the employees who work at Langley, but rather, the field operatives. The ones who do the grunt work day in and day out overseas.

With her stint in Afghanistan, Kathy had already set foot in the netherworld where up is down and wrong is right, and had lived to tell the tale. As such, she, like those before her, had to harden herself to a twisted and often fatal reality of life. A reality that dictates that human beings should only be seen as lifeless objects created to further the mission.

While buying into the company line, the smart ones still had to figure out an escape route for themselves for when it was all over. For when they were out. All the way out. It was a trick some could never master. I didn’t. I hoped Kathy was better and smarter than me—but time, and pain yet unfelt, would tell.

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